New Roles Require New Self-images

"It doesn't make sense," he said. "I've worked for this and dreamed about it. It's just what I've always wanted. I know I can do the work. And yet, for some reason my self-confidence is shaken. I suddenly wake up, as if f r o m a dream, and ask myself—'What in the world is a small potatoes like me doing in a job like this?'" He had be­Come super-sensitive to his appearance, and thought per­haps that his "weak chin" might be the cause of his dis­comfort. "I don't look like a business executive," he said. He felt plastic surgery might be the answer to his prob­lem. ,

There was the housewife, whose children were "run­ning her crazy" and whose husband irritated her so much that she "teed o f f on him" at least twice a week for no cause. "What is the matter with me?" she asked. "My children are really nice kids I should be proud of. My husband is really a nice guy, and I'm always ashamed of myself afterwards." She felt that a "face lift" might g i v e her more confidence, and cause her family to "appre­ciate her more."

The trouble with these people, and many more like them, is not their physical appearance but their self-image. They find themselves in a new role, and are not sure what kind of a person they are supposed to "be" in order to live up to that role. Or, they have never developed a clear-cut self-image of themselves in any role.