Take the responsibility of your failures!

When the failure-type personality looks for a scapegoat or excuse for his failure, he often blames society, "the system," life, the "breaks."
He resents the success and happiness of others because it is proof to him that life is short-changing him and he is being treated unfairly.

Resentment is an attempt to explain our own failure by injustice. However, as a salve for failure, resentment is a cure that is worse than the disease. It is a deadly poison to the spirit, makes happiness impossible, uses up tremendous energy which could go into accomplishment.
A vicious cycle is often set up. The person who always carries a grievance, and has a chip on his shoulder, does not make the best companion or co-worker. When co-workers do not warm up to him, or the boss attempts to point out deficiencies in his work, he has additional reasons for feeling resentful.

Admitting being wrong is a thing that great people does

"No man ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes," said Gladstone. "I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes," said Sir Humphry Davy.
"We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success; we often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery." said Samuel Smiles.
"Mr. Edison worked endlessly on a problem, using the method of elimination (TRY and FAIL method). If a person asked him whether he were discouraged because so many attempts proved unavailing, he would say, 'No, I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." said Thomas A. Edison.

Great men and big personalities make mistakes and admit them. It is the little man who is afraid to admit he has been wrong. Yes, many people are indecisive because they fear loss of self-esteem if they are proved wrong. So, take the necessary steps you believe, enjoy the results if they are good; and admit that they were mistakes, if they are wrong; and change your way.
It is that simple!

Do not afraid of being wrong

Nobody is right all the time. Realize that it is not required that a man be 100 percent right at all times. When you once successed, unsuccessful attempts would not be remembered, even by you. It is in the nature of things that we progress by acting, making mistakes, and correcting course. A guided torpedo literally arrives at its target by making a series of mistakes and continually correcting its course. You cannot correct your course if you are standing still. You cannot change or correct "nothing."

All you must do is to consider the known facts in a situation, imagine possible consequences of various courses of action, choose one that seems to offer the best solution—and bet on it!

Do not afraid of being wrong. You can correct your course as you go, or completely change your way.

Immobility is the worst.

Uncertainty is a "way" of avoiding mistakes, and responsibility.

Uncertainty is a "way" of avoiding mistakes, and responsibility.

It is based upon the fallacious premise that if
no decision is made, nothing can go wrong. Being "wrong" holds untold horrors to the person who tries to conceive of himself as perfect. He is never wrong, and always perfect in all things. If he were ever wrong his picture of a perfect, all powerful self would crumble. Therefore, decision-
making becomes a life-or-death matter. One "way" is to avoid as many decisions as possible,
and prolong them as much as possible. Another "way" is to have a handy scapegoat to blame. This type of person makes decisions—but he makes them hastily, prematurely, and is well-known for going off half-cocked. Making decisions offers him no problem at all. He is perfect. It is
impossible for him to be wrong in any case. Therefore, why consider facts or consequences? He is able to maintain this fiction when his. decisions backfire, simply by convincing himself it was someone else's fault. It is easy to see why both types fail. One is continually in hot water
from impulsive and ill-considered actions, the other is stymied because he will not act at all. In other words, the "Uncertainty" way of being right doesn't work.

Beating loneliness

Loneliness is a way of self-protection. Lines of communication with other people—and especially any emotional ties—are cut down. It is a way to protect our idealized self against exposure, hurt, humiliation. The lonely personality is afraid of other people.

The lonely person often complains that he has no friends, and there are no people to mix with. In most cases, he unwittingly arranges things in this manner because of his passive attitude, that it is up to other people to come to him, to make the first move, to see that he is entertained. It never occurs to him that he should contribute something to any social situation.

Regardless of your feelings, force yourself to mix and mingle with other people. After the first cold plunge, you will find yourself warming up and enjoying it if you persist. Develop some social skill that will add to the happiness of other people: dancing, bridge, playing the piano, tennis, conversation. It is an old psychological axiom that constant exposure to the object of fear immunizes against the fear. As the lonely person continues to force himself into social relations with other human beings—not in a passive way, but as an active contributor—he will gradually find that most people are friendly, and that he is accepted. His shyness and timidity begin to disappear. He feels more comfortable in the presence of other people and with himself. The experience of their acceptance of him enables him to accept himself.

LONELINESS

All of us are lonely at times, and this just normal. But when loneliness is excessive and chronic —of being cut off and alienated from other people— it is a symptom of the failure mechanism. In a stimulating conversation, in dancing, playing together, or in working together for a common goal, we become interested in something other than maintaining our own shams and pretenses. As we get to know the other fellow, we feel less need for pretense. We "unthaw" and become more natural. The more we do this the more we feel we can afford to dispense -with the sham and pretense and feel more comfortable just being ourselves, and finding ourselves.


Lonely person cuts himself off from the pathway to finding himself, which is to lose oneself in social activities with other people. Doing things with other people and enjoying things with other people, helps us to forget ourselves. Thus, alienation from life causes alienation from real self. Because of his feeling of alienation from self, human contacts are not very satisfying, and he becomes a social recluse. Thus, the lonely person often sets up a vicious cycle.

Never think that you are superior and complete.

I knew a boxer who fought well until he won the championship. In his next fight he lost the championship. After losing the title, he fought well again and regained the championship. A wise manager said to him, "You can fight as well as champion as when you're the contender if you'll remember one thing: every match is a challenge for having championship. Unless you win, you will not have it again. You are completely equal with your rival. So, when you step into that ring you aren't defending the championship—you're fighting for it."

That example clearly explain "underdog psychology" in sports. "When a championship team begins to think of itself as "the champions," they no longer have something to fight for, but a status to defend. The champions are defending something, trying to prove something. The underdogs are fighting to do something and often bring about an upset.

Never think that you are superior and complete. Because that thought causes a feeling that "you have to defend your position". Looking like a champion is a way of proving to yourself and others your superiority. However, it is just self-defeating! If you are perfect and superior now—then there is no need to fight, grapple and try. In fact, if you are caught trying real hard, it may be considered evidence that you are not superior—so you "don't try." You lose your will to win, consequently your fight.